Week 11

Days 71 to 77 · 10 weeks 0 days to 10 weeks 6 days old · about 2 and a half months

This week a typical baby measures about 59 cm (23.2 in) and weighs about 5.6 kg (12.5 lb). Babies vary widely, so keep your eye on your own baby's curve on the growth chart rather than on any single number. Your baby is becoming more sociable by the day. Smiles come easily now, coos turn into long conversations, and some babies let out their very first chuckle. For you, life may be settling into a rough rhythm, and thoughts often turn to what comes after leave. This week looks at first laughs, talking and reading together, settling your baby to sleep, planning a return to work, choosing childcare, money matters, and helping older siblings adjust.

Day 71 · 10 weeks 0 days old

The first laugh may be close

After the first smiles comes another sound many parents wait for: a laugh. Most babies laugh for the first time somewhere between about 3 and 4 months, but some manage a little chuckle or squeal of delight earlier, and others take a while longer. All of that is within the normal range. A first laugh is usually social. It tends to come when someone your baby knows well is close, playful and paying attention. Gentle surprises often do it: a raspberry blown on the tummy, a funny voice, a soft "boo", or being lifted up and down slowly. What made your baby laugh yesterday may not work today, and that is part of the fun.

Laughing shows that your baby is starting to understand patterns and expectations. They have learned what usually happens and find a small, safe twist delightful. Over the coming weeks, these early chuckles grow into the big belly laughs that many babies discover after 3 months.

If your baby is not laughing yet, keep playing. Smiling, cooing and watching your face closely are the building blocks, and they matter just as much. Try this: Find a quiet moment when your baby is fed and alert, and try a few gentle, playful sounds to see what earns a smile or a giggle.

Day 72 · 10 weeks 1 day old

Talk, sing and read, even now

Your baby cannot understand words yet, but every time you talk to them, their brain is building the connections they will later use for language. Babies learn to talk by hearing lots of speech directed at them, not by background noise or television.

You do not need a script. Describe what you are doing as you change a diaper, cook or walk to the shop. Many adults naturally speak to babies in a higher, sing-song voice with stretched vowels and simple words. This is sometimes called parentese, and babies pay more attention to it. The most powerful part is the back-and-forth. When your baby coos, answer as if they have said something interesting, then pause and wait. This "serve and return" teaches turn-taking, the foundation of conversation. Reading counts too. Sturdy board books with bold pictures, high-contrast shapes or faces are good choices, but any book works if you enjoy reading it aloud. Your baby will not follow the story. They will enjoy your voice, the rhythm of the words and being close to you.

If your family speaks more than one language, use the language or languages you speak most comfortably. Babies can learn two or more from the start. Try this: Read aloud for five minutes today, choosing anything you like, even a few pages of your own book.

Day 73 · 10 weeks 2 days old

Drowsy but awake is an idea, not a rule

You may have heard the advice to put your baby down "drowsy but awake". The idea is that a baby who falls asleep in their own sleep space, rather than in your arms or at the breast or bottle, may find it easier to settle back to sleep when they stir between sleep cycles.

It can help some babies, and it is worth trying now that your baby is a little older. Watch for early sleepy signs, like slower movements, staring into the distance or rubbing their eyes. Then lay your baby on their back in their crib or bassinet while their eyes are still open. Stay close, pat or shush them, and give them a few minutes to settle.

It is also completely normal if it does not work yet. Many babies under 3 or 4 months simply cry until they are picked up, and that is fine. Feeding or rocking a young baby to sleep is not a bad habit, and it does not harm their development. If you find yourself both getting upset, pick your baby up and try another day.

Whatever you do, keep sleep safe: on the back, in their own flat, firm sleep space, with nothing loose around them.

Try this: Choose one sleep a day, often the first nap of the morning, and try laying your baby down drowsy but awake. Treat it as practice, not a test.

Day 74 · 10 weeks 3 days old

Start thinking about going back to work

For many parents, a return to paid work is somewhere on the horizon, whether it is weeks or many months away. Leave lengths differ greatly between countries and employers, and some parents stay home longer or work flexibly. Whatever your situation, starting to plan early takes some of the dread out of it.

Begin with the facts. Check how much leave you and your partner are entitled to, how it can be shared, what pay you will receive, and what notice your employer needs before you return. Find out whether you can ask for flexible options, such as part-time hours, a phased return or some work from home.

Think about feeding. If you are breastfeeding and want to continue, you might plan to pump at work, breastfeed before and after work, or combine breast milk and formula. You will read more about pumping at work later in the book. Your baby may need practice with a bottle or cup from another person, as described in the entries around 2 months.

It also helps to talk about the daily logistics: who will do drop-off and pickup, who stays home when your baby is sick, and how housework will be shared.

Mixed feelings are normal. You may feel relief, grief, guilt or all three. Try this: Write down your expected return date, if you have one, and three questions you need to ask your employer before then.

Day 75 · 10 weeks 4 days old

How to choose childcare

If you will need childcare, it pays to start looking well before you need it. In many places, good spaces fill up quickly and waiting lists can be long, so some parents put their name down months in advance.

The main options are usually a childcare centre, a smaller home-based daycare run by a carer in their own home, a nanny or babysitter who comes to you, or help from relatives. Each has trade-offs in cost, flexibility, group size and what happens when the carer or your baby is sick.

When you visit, trust what you see as much as what you are told. Look for: a licence or registration, if that applies where you live small groups and a low number of babies for each adult warm, responsive carers who get down to the babies' level safe sleep practices: babies on their backs, in their own cribs, with nothing loose

clean spaces, safe toys and a clear plan for illness and emergencies a willingness to follow your baby's feeding plan, including breast milk Ask how they settle new babies, how they communicate with parents and how long staff tend to stay. Low staff turnover usually means more stable relationships for your baby.

Your gut feeling matters. If a place feels wrong, keep looking.

Try this: Make a shortlist of two or three childcare options near your home or work and book a visit or call with one of them this week.

Day 76 · 10 weeks 5 days old

A few money matters worth sorting now

A baby changes your finances in ways that are easy to put off. Leave pay is often lower than a full salary, and new costs keep appearing: diapers, formula if you use it, clothes in ever-bigger sizes and, later, childcare. A simple plan now can save a lot of stress.

Start with a realistic budget for the next six to twelve months. Include any drop in income while on leave and the cost of childcare after it. Many families find that secondhand clothes, gear and toys stretch their money a long way. One exception: be cautious with a used car seat, and only use one if you know its full history, it has never been in a crash, and it has not passed its expiry date.

Check what support you may be entitled to. Many places offer child benefits, tax credits, help with childcare costs or savings plans for a child's education. Your local government, employer or a financial adviser can tell you what applies to you.

Two less cheerful tasks matter too. If you do not have a will, now is the time to make one and to name who would care for your child if something happened to you. Consider whether you need life insurance, especially if others depend on your income.

Try this: Set aside half an hour this week to list your monthly costs and write down one money task, like making a will, to complete before your baby turns six months.

Day 77 · 10 weeks 6 days old

Helping an older child adjust

If you have older children, they are adjusting to this new baby too, and their feelings can be complicated. Pride, curiosity and love often come mixed with jealousy, anger or sadness at losing some of your attention.

Many toddlers and young children go backwards for a while. A child who was out of diapers may have accidents, want a bottle again, ask to be carried or have more tantrums. This is a normal way of asking for reassurance, and it usually passes with patience rather than punishment.

Small things help. Give your older child a job, like choosing the baby's socks or fetching a diaper, but do not force them to be involved. Talk about the baby as "our" baby. Point out when the baby watches or smiles at them. Let them say that they sometimes do not like the baby, and tell them that their feelings are fine even when hitting is not.

Most of all, children need some time when they are the centre of your attention. Even ten minutes a day of play on their terms, with no baby and no phone, can make a big difference.

Never leave a young child alone with the baby, however gentle they seem. Small children do not yet understand how fragile a baby is.

For your partner: Plan a short outing or a game with the older child today, just the two of you, and let them choose what to do.