Week 41

Days 281 to 287 · 40 weeks 0 days to 40 weeks 6 days old · about 9 months A typical baby this week measures about 71 cm (28 in) and weighs about 8.6 kg (19 lb). Babies vary widely, so look at your own baby's curve on the growth chart rather than any single number. Your baby is likely busier than ever: crawling, cruising, climbing onto your lap and grabbing the spoon out of your hand. For you, carrying a heavier, wriggling baby may be starting to show up in your back and wrists. This week is about food and movement. It covers sharing family meals, letting your baby use a spoon, living with the mess, preventing falls, knowing when a head bump needs a doctor, music and movement, and looking after your own body as you lift and carry.

Day 281 · 40 weeks 0 days old

Your baby can eat what you eat, with a few changes

By now many babies are ready to share most of the family's meals. Eating the same food as everyone else helps your baby learn about flavours and textures, and it saves you from cooking twice.

A few simple adjustments make most family food baby-friendly. Take your baby's portion out before you add salt, stock cubes, salty sauces or sugar. Cook vegetables until they are soft enough to squash between your finger and thumb. Cut food into strips about the size of an adult finger, or into small soft pieces now that the pincer grasp is coming in. Flatten round foods such as blueberries or chickpeas, and quarter grapes and cherry tomatoes lengthwise.

Herbs and gentle spices are fine and often welcome. A baby who has tasted cumin, garlic, ginger or cinnamon early may be more open to varied flavours later. Very hot chili is best kept mild for now.

The foods to avoid before the first birthday, covered in Part Three, still apply: no honey, no cow's milk as a main drink, no whole nuts and nothing raw or undercooked.

Eating together matters as much as the food itself. Your baby learns by watching you chew, use cutlery and enjoy a meal.

Try this: At tonight's dinner, set aside a soft, unsalted portion of what you are eating for your baby before seasoning the rest.

Day 282 · 40 weeks 1 day old

Let your baby have a go with the spoon

Around 9 to 12 months, many babies start grabbing for the spoon. Letting them try is good practice for hand skills, coordination and independence, even if very little food reaches their mouth at first.

An easy start is the two-spoon method: give your baby their own spoon while you feed them with another. Or try preloading: dip the spoon into a thick food such as yogurt, oatmeal or mashed potato and hand it to your baby handle first, so they only need to get it to their mouth. Short, chunky spoons with soft tips are easier for small hands than long adult ones.

Expect the spoon to go in upside down, sideways, into the ear and onto the floor. That is how learning looks. Most babies do not use a spoon well until well into their second year, and that is normal.

Some babies prefer their fingers for a long time and push the spoon away. That is fine too. Finger feeding builds the same skills, and they will come back to cutlery when they are ready.

Keep meals relaxed. Let your baby set the pace, stop when they show they are full and avoid sneaking in extra spoonfuls while they are distracted. Try this: At breakfast, preload a spoon with thick yogurt or oatmeal and hand it to your baby, then let them take as long as they like.

Day 283 · 40 weeks 2 days old

Mess is part of how babies learn to eat

If mealtimes leave food in your baby's hair, on the walls and under the high chair, you are not doing it wrong. Babies explore food with all their senses. Squashing, smearing and dropping it teaches them about texture, temperature and how much pressure to use before a piece of banana turns to mush. Babies who are allowed to touch their food tend to be more willing to try new foods. Wiping their hands and face after every bite can put them off. Save the clean-up for the end of the meal.

A few practical things help:

A large wipe-clean mat or an old shower curtain under the high chair. A bib with sleeves, or simply eating in a diaper on warm days.

A suction bowl or plate, or food straight onto a clean high chair tray. Offering a few pieces at a time rather than a full plate.

Throwing food on purpose often comes in now too. It can be a sign your baby is full, or an experiment in cause and effect. Calmly say "food stays on the tray", and if it keeps happening, take it as a cue that the meal is over. For your partner: Take on the after-dinner clean-up of the high chair and floor tonight, so the other parent can sit with the baby a little longer at the table.

Day 284 · 40 weeks 3 days old

Falls will happen, so make the big ones less likely

Now that your baby crawls, pulls up and perhaps climbs, falls are part of daily life. Most are small tumbles from sitting or standing height and do no harm. The ones to prevent are falls from a height: down stairs, off beds, sofas and change tables, out of high chairs and shopping carts, and through windows.

You set up the basics when you babyproofed a few months ago. This is a good week to check them again with fresh eyes, because your baby can now reach and climb further than before.

Keep stair gates closed at the top and bottom of every staircase, with a gate fixed to the wall at the top.

Always use the harness in the high chair, stroller and shopping cart. Change diapers on the floor, or keep one hand on your baby at all times. Move chairs, beds and boxes away from windows, and fit window stops or guards so windows open no more than about 10 cm (4 in). Insect screens will not hold a baby's weight.

Lower the crib mattress to its lowest setting before your baby can pull up in it.

You cannot prevent every bump. Aim to remove the serious drops and accept the small falls that come with learning to move.

Try this: Get down on your knees and crawl through the rooms your baby uses, looking for anything they could climb onto that leads to a drop.

Day 285 · 40 weeks 4 days old

Head bumps: what is normal and when to worry

Sooner or later, your baby will bump their head on a table corner or the floor. A loud cry right away is reassuring. Most bumps cause nothing more than tears and sometimes a "goose egg", a firm swelling on the forehead. It usually goes down within a few days.

After a bump, comfort your baby and hold something cool, such as a cold cloth or a wrapped bag of frozen peas, against the swelling if they allow it. Watch them closely for the next 24 hours. If they seem their normal self, it is fine to let them nap. Check on them while they sleep, and wake them if you are worried.

Get help right away if your baby lost consciousness, even briefly; fell from higher than about 90 cm (3 ft) or down stairs; vomits more than once; is unusually drowsy or hard to wake; has a seizure; has blood or clear fluid coming from the nose or ears; has a bulging soft spot; cries in a way you cannot settle; stops moving an arm or leg normally; or seems confused or not themselves.

Call your baby's doctor if there is a soft, squishy swelling on the side or back of the head, as this can need checking in babies under 1, or if you are unsure.

Try this: Write your local emergency number and poison information number on a card and stick it inside a kitchen cupboard door where anyone caring for your baby can find it.

Day 286 · 40 weeks 5 days old

Music gets your baby moving

Put on a song with a good beat and you may see your baby bounce up and down, sway or wave their arms. Many babies around this age start to move in time with music, more or less. They are noticing rhythm, and their body wants to join in.

Music is good for babies in many ways. Songs with repeated words and actions, like rhymes about wheels going round or fingers walking up an arm, help with language, memory and anticipation. Bouncing and dancing build balance and leg strength. Singing together is also a lovely way to connect, and your baby does not care whether you can hold a tune.

You do not need special equipment. A wooden spoon on a pot, a sealed plastic bottle with dry rice inside, or a set of keys can all be instruments. Sing the same few songs often; babies love repetition, and they will start to anticipate the tickle or the clap at the end.

Protect those young ears. Keep music and noisy toys at a comfortable volume and avoid holding loud toys close to your baby's ears. If you are at a loud event, ear defenders made for babies are a good idea.

Try this: Choose one action song today and sing it three times during the day, pausing just before the best part to see whether your baby anticipates it.

Day 287 · 40 weeks 6 days old

Your back and wrists are carrying a lot

Your baby has more than doubled in weight since birth, and you lift them dozens of times a day: in and out of the crib, the car seat, the high chair and the bath. Many parents notice low back pain, sore shoulders or pain at the base of the thumb by now.

That thumb pain is common enough to have a nickname. It is usually a tendon problem called de Quervain's tenosynovitis, caused by repeatedly lifting with your hands in an L shape under the baby's arms. Try lifting with your palms facing up and your wrists straight, scooping your baby from under the bottom and back.

For your back, bend your knees and keep your baby close to your body as you lift, rather than reaching out with straight legs. Kneel down to lift from the floor. Carrying an infant car seat on your forearm puts a lot of strain on your back and shoulder; when possible, leave the seat in the car and carry your baby instead.

Call your care provider if pain lasts more than a couple of weeks, keeps you awake or comes with numbness or tingling. Get help right away if back pain comes with weakness in your legs or loss of bladder or bowel control. Try this: Next time you lift your baby out of the crib, notice your hands, then try the palms-up scoop with straight wrists instead.