Week 37

Days 253 to 259 · 36 weeks 0 days to 36 weeks 6 days old · about 8 months A typical baby this week is about 70 cm (27.5 in) long and weighs roughly 8.4 kg (18.4 lb), though babies vary widely and the important thing is a steady line on their own growth chart. Your baby may be crawling fast, cruising along the sofa, and testing every limit they can reach, including your patience. Copying games like clapping are becoming great fun. For you, periods may have returned, or may return soon, which makes this a good time to think about contraception and the timing of any future pregnancy. This week covers why hitting never helps, gentle night weaning, contraception, clapping games, friendships, sharing care with grandparents and other carers, and helping your baby cope with frustration.

Day 253 · 36 weeks 0 days old

Hitting a child never helps

Most parents have moments when they feel pushed to the edge. It is worth deciding now, while your baby is small, that physical punishment is never part of your approach. That means no smacking, spanking, slapping or flicking a hand, even lightly and even "just to get their attention." The evidence on this is clear and consistent. Major pediatric and child health bodies around the world advise against all physical punishment. Studies following children over many years link it with more aggression, more behaviour problems, anxiety and poorer relationships with parents, not better behaviour. It teaches a baby that big people solve problems by hurting smaller ones. At this age, your baby cannot even understand why it happened. Many countries have made physical punishment of children illegal.

A baby or young child who is hit can also be injured, and shaking a baby, as you read in weeks 3 to 5, can cause severe brain damage or death. If you feel your anger rising, it is always safe to put your baby down somewhere secure, such as the crib, and step away for a few minutes to breathe. Then come back. If you often feel close to losing control, tell your doctor or a parenting helpline. Asking for help is a strong, protective thing to do.

Try this: Agree with your partner or support person on a short phrase, such as "I need a minute," that means one of you is stepping out and the other takes over.

Day 254 · 36 weeks 1 day old

Gentle ways to drop night feeds

If you have decided to cut back on night feeds, as discussed last week, going slowly is kinder for everyone. It gives your baby time to take more in during the day and, if you breastfeed, lets your supply adjust so you avoid engorgement, blocked ducts or mastitis.

A few approaches work well:

Shorter feeds. If you breastfeed, shorten each night feed by a couple of minutes every two or three nights. If you bottle feed, reduce the amount by about 30 mL (1 oz) every couple of nights.

Longer gaps. Gradually stretch the time between night feeds by settling your baby another way first, with patting, shushing or a cuddle. One feed at a time. Many families drop the feed closest to morning last, or keep a single "dream feed" before the adults go to bed for a while. A different settler. Babies often expect milk when the breastfeeding parent appears. A partner or support person going in instead can help. During the day, offer full milk feeds and solid meals, and do not cut back daytime milk at the same time.

Expect some backsliding when your baby is unwell or teething. If you feel hard, hot or red patches in your breast, express a little for comfort and slow down.

Try this: Pick one approach and stick with it for a week before judging whether it is working.

Day 255 · 36 weeks 2 days old

Breastfeeding is not reliable contraception now

You may have heard that breastfeeding stops you getting pregnant. It can delay fertility, but only under strict conditions: your baby is under 6 months, you are breastfeeding exclusively day and night with no long gaps, and your periods have not returned. Your baby is past 6 months and eating solids, so breastfeeding alone is no longer a reliable method, even if you have not had a period.

You release an egg about two weeks before your first period, so it is possible to become pregnant before you ever see a bleed.

If you do not want to become pregnant soon, now is a good time to choose a method. Most options are safe while breastfeeding, including condoms, the copper or hormonal IUD, the implant, progestin-only pills and the injection. Methods with estrogen, such as the combined pill, patch or ring, are generally considered suitable from about 6 months after birth if you are breastfeeding, though some people notice a dip in supply. Your doctor, midwife or a sexual health clinic can help you weigh the options. Call your care provider if you have a positive pregnancy test, unusual bleeding, or severe one-sided pelvic pain, which can be a sign of a pregnancy outside the uterus and needs checking straight away.

Try this: If contraception has slipped down the list, book an appointment this week to talk it through.

Day 256 · 36 weeks 3 days old

Clapping games are serious learning

Pat-a-cake, "If you're happy and you know it" and simple clapping rhymes have survived generations for a reason. They pack a lot of learning into a minute of fun.

When you clap and sing, your baby practises bringing both hands to the middle of the body, which helps coordination. The rhythm and repetition of the words support early language: babies learn to anticipate what comes next and often squeal just before the big moment. Taking turns, you clap, then they clap, is an early version of conversation. And copying your actions is one of the main ways babies learn, a skill that grows quickly over the next few months.

Your baby may watch for weeks before joining in. Some first clap with hands held flat together, some slap the table instead, and some prefer to bounce. All of it counts. Gently holding their hands and clapping them together can help them feel the movement, but stop if they pull away. You do not need a good voice, or to know the right words. Your baby likes your voice best, and rhymes you make up about bath time or the dog work just as well.

Try this: Choose one clapping song and sing it at the same moment each day this week, such as after a diaper change, and see whether your baby starts to anticipate it.

Day 257 · 36 weeks 4 days old

Friendships change, and new ones grow

Becoming a parent often reshuffles your friendships. Friends without children may drift for a while, unsure how to fit in around naps, or you may have had little energy to reach out. Meanwhile, you may have found yourself chatting with a stranger at the playground about teething, and realizing you have more in common than you thought.

Both kinds of friendship matter. Old friends remember who you were before, and can help you hold on to that part of yourself. A quick message, a walk with the stroller, or inviting them over and letting the house be messy keeps the thread alive. Most friendships survive a quiet year if someone keeps the door open.

New parent friends offer something different: people at the same stage who understand without explanation, and who are awake at odd hours too. Drop-in groups, library story times, baby classes, online local groups and community centres are good places to meet. It can feel awkward to suggest a coffee to someone you barely know. Most people are glad to be asked. Loneliness is common in the first year, especially for parents at home. If you feel isolated most days, mention it to your doctor or public health nurse, who may know of local groups.

Try this: Send a message today to one friend you have not seen since your baby was born, and suggest a simple plan.

Day 258 · 36 weeks 5 days old

Sharing care with grandparents and other carers

Grandparents, aunts, friends and babysitters can be a huge help, and your baby gains a great deal from having several loving adults in their life. Babies can form strong attachments to more than one person, and that does not weaken their bond with you.

Advice about babies has changed a lot over the years, so it helps to share how you do things, kindly and without assuming anyone knows. A few points are worth spelling out with anyone who cares for your baby: Back to sleep, in a crib or travel cot with nothing loose in it, never on a sofa.

Rear-facing car seat, correctly fitted, for every trip.

No honey before 12 months, no whole nuts, and grapes and round foods cut into quarters lengthwise.

Hot drinks out of reach, medicines and purses up high.

Your phone number, your baby's doctor's details, and your local emergency number written down.

Explain your approach to guidance too: redirection and calm limits, never smacking.

It often goes better if you ask about their experience and frame things as "the advice now is" rather than "you did it wrong." Many grandparents are happy to learn, and most will respect your choices once they understand the reasons.

Try this: Write a one-page care sheet with your baby's routine, safety basics and emergency contacts, and leave it on the fridge.

Day 259 · 36 weeks 6 days old

Helping your baby through frustration

Your baby's abilities are racing ahead, but their skills often lag behind their ambitions. They can see the toy under the chair but cannot reach it. They want to stand but sit down with a bump. They want to keep the phone and you take it away. Frustration is a daily experience at this age, and it often comes out as loud, red-faced crying.

You do not need to fix every frustration. A little struggle helps babies learn persistence, and the joy when they finally reach the toy is part of the learning. Wait a moment before you step in, and offer the smallest help that works: move the toy a little closer rather than handing it over. When the frustration tips into real distress, stay close. Name it simply: "That is hard. You really want it." Offer comfort, then a choice or a distraction. Your calm tells your baby that big feelings are survivable and that you are still there afterward.

Some babies are more intense than others, which is part of temperament, as you read in weeks 10 to 13. An intense baby is not a difficult or naughty one. They simply need more of your help to settle.

For your partner: When you hear your baby building to a meltdown at the end of the day, step in and take over the comforting, so the parent who has been on duty can have a breather.