Week 36

Days 246 to 252 · 35 weeks 0 days to 35 weeks 6 days old · about 8 months This week a typical baby measures about 70 cm (27.5 in) and weighs roughly 8.3 kg (18.3 lb). Babies vary widely, and what matters is that your baby keeps following their own curve on the growth chart. Many babies are crawling or getting ready to, pulling up on furniture and starting to use simple gestures such as waving. With more movement comes more exploring, and more moments when you need to step in. For you, life may have settled into a rhythm, even if it is not the one you expected. This week looks at waving and clapping, what discipline really means for a baby, setting up a space where you can say yes, who you are becoming as a parent, whether night feeds are still needed, big feelings, and time as a couple.

Day 246 · 35 weeks 0 days old

Your baby is learning to wave hello and goodbye

Somewhere around now, many babies start to wave. At first it may look nothing like an adult wave. Some open and close their fist, some flap the whole arm, and some wave at the wall long after the visitor has gone. Clapping often appears around the same time, sometimes with hands that miss each other entirely.

These gestures matter more than they seem. A wave is one of the first ways your baby shows they understand a social routine: someone leaves, and we say goodbye. It sits alongside pointing and reaching to be picked up as early steps toward language, which you read about in weeks 31 to 35. Babies who use gestures are practising the idea that their body can send a message to another person.

Most babies wave and clap somewhere between about 7 and 12 months, and plenty do it only when they feel like it, which is rarely when grandma is watching. If your baby has not started yet, there is nothing to worry about at this age. Signs worth raising with the doctor at 12 months are covered in weeks 49 to 52.

Try this: Wave and say "bye-bye" every time someone leaves the room today, even the cat, and give your baby a moment to copy you.

Day 247 · 35 weeks 1 day old

Discipline at this age means teaching, not punishing

The word discipline comes from the same root as disciple: someone who learns. For a baby, that is the whole job. Your baby is not being naughty when they pull the cat's tail or tip a bowl onto the floor. They are running experiments. What happens if I do this? What does that face mean? Is it the same every time?

At around 8 months, babies cannot yet connect an action with a consequence that comes later, and they cannot remember a rule from one minute to the next. Their self-control, which lives in the front of the brain, will take years to mature. Time-outs, scolding and taking away toys as punishment do not teach anything at this age. They mostly create fear or confusion. What does work is simple and repetitive. You keep your baby safe, you show them what they can do instead, and you stay calm and warm while you do it, again and again. This is often called gentle or positive guidance. It is not permissive. You still set limits; you just set them by acting, not by punishing. Think of yourself less as a referee and more as a guide. The patterns you start now, firm, kind and predictable, are the ones that will carry you into toddlerhood.

Try this: Next time your baby does something you would rather they did not, notice what they were trying to find out before you react.

Day 248 · 35 weeks 2 days old

Save "no" for when it really matters

If you say "no" fifty times a day, it starts to sound like background noise. Babies also hear the tone rather than the word, so a sharp "no" can startle without explaining anything. A more effective habit is to keep "no" for real danger, such as a hot oven door or a stair edge, and handle everything else by redirecting.

Redirection means moving your baby's attention, or your baby, toward something else. If they are pulling books off the shelf, hand them a basket of board books they are allowed to empty. If they are chewing the remote, swap it for a teether. If they keep crawling toward the plant, pick them up, say calmly "Gentle, plants stay in the pot," and set them down near something interesting. Saying what to do ("Pat the dog softly") works better than only saying what not to do.

Expect to redirect the same thing many times. That is not failure. Repetition is how babies learn, and each calm turn teaches them a little more about what is safe.

When you do need a quick stop, use a short, firm, low voice and move your baby at the same time. Actions teach far more than words right now. Try this: Count how many times you say "no" this morning, then try swapping half of them for a simple "Let's do this instead."

Day 249 · 35 weeks 3 days old

Who you are becoming as a parent

Eight months in, you may notice that the person you were before your baby feels both very close and very far away. Some parts of your old life have faded, at least for now. New parts have grown: skills, patience, a different sense of time, perhaps a sharper view of what matters to you.

Many parents describe a stretch of feeling lost in the role. The days are full of care for someone else, and the things that once defined you, like your work, your hobbies or your social life, may have been set aside. Some researchers call this shift matrescence, a change as big as adolescence. Partners and fathers go through their own version too. It can bring grief and joy at the same time, and both are normal.

You do not have to choose between being a parent and being yourself. Most people find their identity settles into something that holds both, but it takes time and a little intention. Small things help: an hour a week that is only yours, or a conversation that is not about the baby.

If the sense of loss feels heavy, constant or empty rather than mixed, talk to your doctor or midwife. Postpartum depression can appear well into the first year, as you read in weeks 3 to 5.

Try this: Write down three things you enjoyed before your baby arrived, and pick one you could bring back, even in a small way, this month.

Day 250 · 35 weeks 4 days old

Does your baby still need to feed at night?

By now, many healthy babies who are growing well can get through a long stretch of the night without milk. Even so, plenty of babies still wake for one or more feeds at 8 months, and that is also normal. Some breastfed babies feed at night well past their first birthday.

There is no fixed age when night feeds must stop. Whether to drop them is a decision for your family, based on how your baby is growing, how you are coping and what you want. If night feeds are quick and peaceful, there may be no reason to change. If you are exhausted, returning to work, or find that your baby wakes mainly out of habit and snacks briefly before drifting off, you might consider gently reducing them.

Before you start, check that your baby is gaining weight well, is healthy and is not going through a big change such as starting daycare or a burst of new skills. Talk to your baby's doctor or nurse if you are not sure, or if your baby was born early, has a medical condition or is growing slowly.

Next week looks at gentle, gradual ways to night wean, whether you breastfeed or bottle feed.

Try this: For three nights, jot down when your baby wakes, how long they feed and how quickly they settle, so you can see the real pattern.

Day 251 · 35 weeks 5 days old

Big feelings live in a small body

When a toy is taken away, your baby may wail as if the world has ended. When you leave the room, they may sob. A minute later they are laughing. These quick, intense swings are a normal part of development. Your baby feels emotions fully but has almost no ability yet to manage them alone. Learning to handle feelings, called emotional regulation, starts with co-regulation. That means your baby borrows your calm. When you pick them up, slow your breathing, lower your voice and hold them close, their heart rate and stress hormones start to settle too. Over many months and years, those repeated experiences build the brain pathways your child will later use to calm themselves.

You cannot spoil a baby by comforting them. Responding to distress does not create a needy child. Research consistently shows the opposite: babies who are comforted reliably tend to become more confident and independent over time.

It also helps to put simple words to what you see. "You are sad. You wanted the spoon." Your baby will not understand every word, but they will begin to link feelings with names, and with the comfort that follows.

Try this: The next time your baby is upset, take one slow breath yourself before you speak, and notice whether it changes how quickly they settle.

Day 252 · 35 weeks 6 days old

Making time for each other as a couple

A baby changes a relationship as much as it changes each person in it. Many couples report more arguments and less closeness in the first year, often about sleep, chores and who does what. That is common, and it usually reflects tiredness and pressure, not a broken relationship.

Time together does not have to mean a night out. Twenty minutes on the sofa after bedtime with the phones put away counts. So does a walk with the stroller where you talk about something other than naps, or a shared meal you actually sit down for. Small, regular moments of attention tend to matter more than rare big gestures.

It also helps to talk openly about the load. Who notices that the diapers are running low? Who books the appointments? Naming invisible work, as you read about in weeks 6 to 9, often eases resentment faster than any date. Sex and affection may look different now too. Be honest and patient with each other.

If you keep going round in the same painful circles, or if either of you feels unsafe, afraid or controlled, reach out for help. Couples counselling is a sign of care, not failure.

For your partner: Plan one small evening this week, take care of the details, and make sure the only task for both of you is to enjoy it.