Week 39

Days 267 to 273 · 38 weeks 0 days to 38 weeks 6 days old · about 9 months This week a typical baby measures about 71 cm (28 in) and weighs roughly 8.5 kg (18.7 lb). As always, babies vary widely, and the line your own baby follows on the growth chart matters more than any single number. Your baby is nearing 9 months: many are crawling, pulling up, cruising, babbling in long strings and understanding far more than they can say. For you, nine months after birth is often described as the point where you have spent as long with your baby outside your body as inside it. This week looks ahead to drinks after the first birthday, then covers routines that ease big feelings, handling your own anger, old advice from grandparents, time for yourself, getting ready for the 9-month check, and a look back at the end of Part Four.

Day 267 · 38 weeks 0 days old

A look ahead at drinks after the first birthday

For now, breast milk or formula is still your baby's main drink, alongside solid food and small sips of water from an open cup with meals. It helps to know what changes at 12 months, so you are not caught off guard. The details come in weeks 49 to 52.

From about 12 months, whole (full-fat) cow's milk, or an unsweetened, fortified soy drink if advised, can become a main drink, offered in a cup. Many health bodies suggest about 500 mL (2 cups) a day as a rough upper limit. More than that can fill up a small stomach, crowd out iron-rich food and contribute to anemia. If you breastfeed, you can carry on for as long as you and your baby want; there is no need to switch to cow's milk. Formula is not needed after a year for most healthy children, and "toddler milks" or growing-up formulas are not necessary. Other plant drinks, such as rice, oat or almond drinks, are generally too low in protein and fat to be a main drink for young children.

Juice is not needed at any age. Water and milk are the drinks your child needs. If you do offer juice later, keep it small and with a meal. Try this: If your baby is not yet using an open cup at meals, offer a small amount of water in one each day this week, holding it with them.

Day 268 · 38 weeks 1 day old

Routines help little feelings feel safe

You may notice that your baby is calmer on days that follow a familiar pattern, and more upset when everything is rushed or different. Predictability is one of the simplest tools for emotional regulation. When a baby can sense what comes next, there are fewer surprises to cope with.

A routine does not have to be a timetable. It is more like a familiar order of events: wake up, milk, breakfast, play, nap, and so on. Small rituals within it carry a lot of weight. The same song before a nap, the same words at the end of a meal, the same steps at bedtime all act as signals that help your baby's body shift gears.

Transitions are often the hardest moments: leaving the park, getting into the car seat, stopping play for a diaper change. A short warning helps, even before your baby understands every word. "One more slide, then home," said the same way each time, followed by a calm action, gradually becomes something your baby recognizes.

Life will never be perfectly predictable, and it does not need to be. Travel, illness and visitors will scramble the days. Familiar anchors, such as a favourite comfort toy or a bedtime song, travel well and help your baby find their footing again.

Try this: Pick the transition your baby finds hardest and give it a short, repeated phrase and song for the next week.

Day 269 · 38 weeks 2 days old

What to do when you are about to lose your temper

Every parent loses patience sometimes. Your baby wakes for the fifth time, or throws dinner on the floor you just cleaned. Anger is a normal human feeling. What matters is what you do with it.

Your baby is learning how to handle feelings mainly by watching you. When you notice your frustration and calm yourself down, you are showing them, long before they can understand words, that strong emotions can be managed.

When you feel the heat rising, try this: stop, put your baby somewhere safe, such as the crib or a play area, and step away for a few minutes. Breathe slowly or splash cold water on your face, staying within earshot. Crying will not harm your baby while you take a short break. Come back when you feel steadier.

If you do snap or shout, repair it. Pick your baby up, soften your voice and reconnect. Repair is one of the most powerful things in any relationship, and even babies feel the difference.

Get help right away if you feel you might hurt your baby. Put them down safely and call someone you trust, a parenting or crisis helpline, or your local emergency number. Frequent anger, irritability or rage can also be a sign of postpartum depression or anxiety, and help works.

Try this: Write down three things that help you calm down quickly, and stick the list somewhere you will see it on a hard day.

Day 270 · 38 weeks 3 days old

When grandparents' advice has changed

"We put you to sleep on your tummy and you turned out fine." "A little cereal in the bottle will help them sleep." "Just a dab of whisky on the gums." Most parents hear lines like these at some point, usually from people who love the baby dearly.

Baby care advice has changed because research has improved. Back sleeping, for example, led to a dramatic fall in sudden infant deaths once it became standard advice. Cereal in a bottle is a choking risk and does not improve sleep. Alcohol, honey and old teething remedies are not safe for babies. Grandparents are not wrong to want to share what worked for them; they simply learned from the advice of their time.

It helps to stay curious rather than defensive. Ask what it was like when they were new parents. Then explain the current advice and the reason behind it, briefly and without blame. "The advice changed because they found this keeps babies safer" usually lands better than "You did it wrong." On safety, hold the line kindly but firmly. On smaller things, such as which song they sing or how many layers of clothes they choose, it is often worth letting go. A grandparent who feels trusted is more likely to follow the rules that truly matter.

Try this: Ask a grandparent or older relative to tell you one story about their first year with a baby, and listen for what has stayed the same.

Day 271 · 38 weeks 4 days old

Making room for something of your own

Earlier in this part you thought about how your identity is shifting. Now, with a little more predictability in the days, it may be possible to carve out regular time for something that belongs only to you.

It does not need to be big or productive. It might be a weekly swim, a choir, an evening class, a run, a craft, or an hour alone in a café with a book. The point is to do something because you enjoy it, not because it makes you a better parent, although it probably will. Parents who have some time for themselves often report more patience and less resentment.

Making it happen usually needs a plan. Agree on a regular slot with your partner or support person, and treat it as fixed, like an appointment. If you are parenting alone, a friend, relative or babysitter you trust, or a class with child care, can open up a window. Swapping time with another parent works well too.

Guilt often shows up. It is worth questioning. Your baby benefits from parents who are rested and whole, and from seeing you as a person with your own interests. Time apart is not time taken from your child.

For your partner: Offer to cover one regular evening or weekend morning each week so the other parent can count on time for themselves, and protect it.

Day 272 · 38 weeks 5 days old

Getting ready for the 9-month check

In many places, babies are offered a checkup at around 9 months. The schedule depends on where you live, so follow your local plan. Week 40 explains what usually happens at this visit, including developmental screening. For now, a little preparation helps you get the most out of it. Over the next few days, jot down what your baby is doing. How do they move: crawling, scooting, pulling up, cruising? What sounds do they make? Do they wave, clap, point or respond to their name? How are meals going, and how is sleep? These notes help the doctor or nurse see the whole picture, and they can also be a lovely record for you.

Add any questions or worries, big or small. Parents often forget their questions in the bustle of an appointment, especially with a wriggling baby on their lap. If something has been on your mind for a while, put it at the top of the list.

Remember that babies develop at very different speeds. The check is not a test your baby can fail. If your baby was born early, development is judged by their corrected age, so a baby born six weeks early is assessed more like a 7- or 8-month-old.

Try this: Start a note on your phone called "9-month check" and add one thing your baby can do today.

Day 273 · 38 weeks 6 days old

Looking back on months 6 to 9

Today closes Part Four. Pause and think back to the start of it, around the half-year mark. Your baby was just learning to sit and was taking their first tastes of solid food. Now they may be crawling across the room, pulling up on your legs, picking up peas between finger and thumb, and waving goodbye.

Their inner world has grown just as fast. They know that you still exist when you leave the room, which is why they protest so loudly. They understand a handful of words, recognize familiar routines, and use gestures to tell you what they want. They have strong preferences and strong feelings, and they rely on you to help them through both.

You have grown too. You have probably babyproofed a home, learned what to do if your baby chokes, handled a few illnesses, made decisions about sleep and feeding, and practised gentle limits more times than you can count. Many of these months were tiring. Some were joyful. Most were both. Part Five covers months 9 to 12: standing and first steps, first words, family meals, and the run-up to your baby's first birthday. Before turning the page, take a moment to notice how far you have both come.

Try this: Find a photo from the half-year mark and one from today, put them side by side, and write a few lines about what has changed.